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He cannot be left alone...

I knew it.

Deep down in my heart I knew it would happen, and I still left the wake, like a fricking idiot. Maybe if I had stayed this wouldn't have happened, or the tone could have been changed, or something, anything other than some absurd carnybarny.

My bro is angry about some things, and he is right to be angry about them, but a wake is not the place. What am I talking about? Of course a wake is the place. It's the very best place. The coffin's meant to be present so that everyone has something to rest their pints on while the fight enthralls the seated, excepting those who use their seats as weapons natch.

Fortunately this pent-up aggression manifested as nothing more than some daft drunken verbals between Bro and those who were homophobic dicks towards him way back when. First, he decides he wants a private word with taciturn uncle B. Uncle B is speaking to someone, Bro dismisses the someone. Uncle B says he was rude to do so. They have ding-dong number 1 over this. Then Uncle B asks Bro when he took up smoking. Bro tells Uncle B that it was in his 30s. Uncle B tells Bro that it was a stupid thing to do. Bro loses the plot, announces to Uncle B that he is a)not stupid, b)a genius and c) when Uncle B earns [insert amount] as much as Bro does, then he can call him stupid.

On to Aunt J, who needs her medication. Who can blame her, given the entertainment? Bro asks her what the problem is, she tells him it's her heart. He remarks that he's surprised the doctors found one. She eyeballs him and says she's a Gallagher by marriage, not blood. Touche!

Good news passed around the room: DNA tests have proven that the two Liverpudlian lads claimed to be Dad's sons are not. His second wife breathes a sigh of relief, Bro is saddened by the fact that we don't have more relatives. More? He can't be civil to the ones we've got!

Bro didn't offend everybody, indeed, he was getting on well with Cousin B, and hopes we can all get together for a meal at his place. I have just pointed out that as Bro has gone out of his way to insult Cousin B's mother and father, the invitation is unlikely to be received well. Bro thinks that if Cousin B is 'any kind of man' he should be able to rise above this sort of thing. I am invited, and of course I'll go; like I said, I'm a fricking idiot.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
november_girl
Oct. 25th, 2015 02:39 am (UTC)
You're not responsible for his behaviour - don't beat yourself up about it.
x
smokingboot
Oct. 25th, 2015 06:52 am (UTC)
I cringe a bit, though not too much on their account - he has no intention of ever seeing them in his life again - it's just enough evidence of distress at their behaviour for me to wish he hadn't shown it. And it's so Dad-like to boast about making money!

But in the end, it's not very important.
november_girl
Oct. 27th, 2015 01:28 am (UTC)
Boasting about money and making a scene - was that perhaps a fitting tribute?
smokingboot
Oct. 27th, 2015 07:36 am (UTC)
:-D :-D :-D Totally!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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