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So here I am

Pause, breathe. A very important moment. Phase 2 complete.

To speak of the past few days - weeks and months even - is hard, not only because my work has been difficult for a long time and impeded by circumstances too many to talk about, but because of the unavoidable feeling that I share very few of the actual values of my culture. Not its touted values... many of those are part of who I am... but what it really stands for and cares about.

Never have I felt more like a stranger in a strange land. I do not mean just the last vote to bomb Syria - actually, there is some reasoning in that. A parallel with Rwanda was mentioned, and I can see how people might not want to be bystanders again to such a terrible tragedy. It still doen't account for the irony of bombing for peace, but at least a genuine discussion can be had, unlike the frankly grotesque and horrible remarks that surfaced re refugees after the discovery of Aylan Kurdi's body.

But it has all been too much for me and the depression of analysis has become unbearable, anger permeating my whole life. In fact, it's best not to dwell on it at all on a day when it can be avoided. Today I must pat myself on the back for having come this far. I have relatives from Spain to visit this weekend and there is a vast amount to do.

Time to go out to find the sun.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
november_girl
Dec. 5th, 2015 01:10 am (UTC)
Sorry to hear about the anger. I hope your relatives bring some Spanish sunshine with them.
x
smokingboot
Dec. 5th, 2015 08:39 am (UTC)
Thank you, I really appreciate the hope. It should be a fun weekend!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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