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Wedding Fret

Last weekend was focused on the venue, tasting the food, working out the itinerary, can't complain. Even then I worry. Yes, this is delicious, can the caterers sustain its deliciousness for more than 10 people?

And there is so much I hate about conventional weddings. First, Bridesmaids. I have chosen a Lady of Honour/Best Lady, why? Because I need a good friend to check the back of the dress, and someone to hold a brolly over my head if it is raining and best it be if they live close to London for chats as well as being a truthful,constructive, wonderful person who I am crazy about and trust. My Best Lady has all these qualities. But I have lots of people I care about, and no-one is best this or best that. This isn't meant to be sugary,they are all amazing and I hate one person being singled out, as though anyone is better than anyone else. That's not my way.

It's even worse when it comes to serving the guests. Table order seems to be: Top table, guests closest to the top table,then everyone else with the least connected(?! ) at the back. I hate this so much. There's no real order of importance to me,the people I want to place at the back are those with little kids/babies/specific requirements who need to be close to the doors in case of distress or nappy change etc. The compromise is a good one; First, top table, then children's meals wherever they sit, then everybody else. But there wouldn't be any sense of hierarchy at all if we'd gone for a picnic half way up a mountain in Yosemite. On the other hand, there may not have been any guests either - it's a bad time to ask chums to fork out for plane fares and holiday accomodation, especially when so many have young families. And it is grand to have friends with whom to celebrate.

In fact, I wish I could have invited everyone I care about,cos I have lots of friends I'd love to see there, but budget and space make it impossible. Only that fantasy picnic would have had enough space to be inclusive, and in Blighty, it would have been prey to the weather, a pernicious and fitful god!

Now for the good stuff; but here I notice I am recalcitrant, as though even listing the pros counts as courting hubris. So I won't. I will just say that when not lost in my head manically fretting,I can't really fault the venue, and that my husband-to-be manages to run things with good humour, as opposed to my combination of  aghast admin phobia and scatty panic. I am narrowly avoiding becoming Bridezilla - there was a tablecloth moment when I could feel it descend upon me - but the shadow passed, and apart from me not wanting to specify a dresscode, and larians feeling quite strongly that some guidelines were appropriate, I have been fine. Indecisive and clueless, but fine. My problem is that I can't make up my mind about anything.

It occurs to me that our wedding cake could be monogrammed R&D: the Research and Development Cake!

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