Time to go

I learned a little more about the Livejournal service changes at the weekend, and since then have dug around...

The agreement may well be the only option open to whoever runs this service... it has to be legal according to the laws of the country in which it is based, I get that. And different countries have different ideas about decency,perhaps, though one wonders what some of these are based on... But this is a pointless level of censorship against those who have not harmed anyone. Tell me, if you kiss a bearded chin, or an unbearded chin, and the owner of that chin wants you to kiss it,what's that to anyone else? Who is hurt?

So until such time as the ToS are changed, I will leave LJ. Find me at Dreamwidth, same name.


It's here and it's a beauty... after a weekend of hanging out with excellent company, I saw the moon rise white as a lily in a deep blue sky, no tinge of grey or black. I would have taken a photo, but there's no point in trying to capture something so simple and sublime. Sometimes it's just down to experiencing the moment. I cannot believe how gorgeous the world around me is.

Happy but Guilty

How can I wake early to all the birds singing and feel so happy in the light of what is happening in the world?

I feel guilty... but there's no point compounding it with hypocrisy. On a personal level, I am happier than I have been for a long time.

News reached me yesterday; I have been trying not to think about later in the year, when the man who tried to kill me was meant to leave prison. Trying to mentally prepare myself for this has been difficult. He has no idea where I am and yet I have not been able to lose the feeling he would try to find me. Separating this out from typical PTSD-type behaviour is difficult. Yes,it is symptomatic of the disorder. But the truth is, I listened to this man, and I don't think that had ever really happened to him before. He might want to be listened to again.

Anyway, Larians contacted the Detective Superintendent in charge of the case without telling me until he got a response yesterday. The man's earliest release will be late 2018; the D.I gave no details, but we can extrapolate that something has gone wrong, and considering the past,it's probably a failed drugs test. And I am torn. Because it means the guy is further from rehabilitation,and I should feel sorry for him. I kind of do.

But again, I demean myself if I fall into hypocrisy. I don't want him out. I feel that I should want him out, but can't help myself, nor do I really want to. I would be happiest, safest, if he served the full term.But that is a terrible thing to wish on anyone.

Often I have wondered if I should visit him in prison to encourage his rehabilitation. It stays with me, the feeling that I should help in some way. But the truth is, no good must be seen to come out of what he attempted; the lesson must be of unqualified disaster,or it results in reasoning along the lines of 'I attempted the worst, but out of it I gained a friend...' God knows if, on his next bender, he wouldn't incoherently use it as a reason to find another 'friend.' No. I do no good by visiting.

My thinking self agrees with this,my emotional self finds it strangely hard, but my instinctive animal self is completely content. I have to listen to this part of me,it kept me alive.

And yesterday was beautiful, my heart lightened with the news as I bimbled around Chislehurst, exploring the caves and wandering among the trees. I wish life was like this for everybody.


Well, the new LJ agreement had me flapping for a bit. I've signed it because it says that the new agreement doesn't apply to paid accounts, so there you go...Besides, I can't imagine anything I write would be of interest to Russian interests,any more than they are to GCHQ or Facebook data miners. After all this business about Cambridge Analytica, it seems clear that people are being targetted to enhance their preferences and focus stuff at them to manipulate their vote, so mindfullness must apply.

Of Russian dissidents and activity, I know very little, but the issue of Trump's involvement with Russian interests remains fascinating. I seriously do not understand this attempt at kerfuffle about Susan Rice. If, through incidental data collection, it transpires that a masked person, probably of national influence, is colluding consciously and meaningfully with an enemy power, wouldn't it be appropriate to be certain?  Of course,the issue is that such information can be easily abused, but isn't the point that it isn't being abused at all,that it is being correctly used? Or have I missed something?

Meanwhile, in a smaller country:

Bloody boring Gibraltar! It's a town for betting companies and it has low taxes and some monkeys. There now, well worth a war. There is much tooting and hooting about a royal navy ship chasing a stray gunboat out of Gibraltar's waters. Who is paying for its deployment? If Gibraltar is proudly British, let's have it pay British taxes like everyone else, see how loyal they are then.

Even May cannot be so terrified of the loons in her party as to actually have a war over something so daft, despite that undead bugger Howard flattering her with comparisons to Thatcher, as if Mags was so laudable an example.

Anyway, masseur coming; real issues with my back muscles, sleeping very badly. I have had the same dream for three nights but can only recall the setting; a massive party with lots of people and plenty of talking. 
wreck, sea, heroine

£500 million for a blue passport

A mere pittance to help Tory MPs like Andrew Rossindell get over what he called the national humiliation of pink passports. Apart from bringing up questions about his inabilities in colour recognition (the current passport is an unambiguous burgundy) one wonders what is so very humiliating about the colour pink. What will make this man's passport dignified or macho enough? Let's cover the damn thing in sequins.

Tell you what; if he had conniptions over not-pink passports, god alone knows what he'll do if/when they become non-unicorn passports. It might be worth it just to see his face

Five Days In

And we're threatening war with Spain over Gibraltar. Spain hasn't said much, it's just that the EU has given them veto powers on the matter...("After the UK leaves the union, no agreement between the EU and the UK may apply to the territory of Gibraltar without agreement between Spain and the UK.") Well of course those fecking far right idiots now driving the Tory party and the Government are suddenly all foaming at the mouth at the chance of a war, any way to recover that sense of being the biggest dick in the world.

Gib should have been mentioned in the article 50 letter, because we do not get to impose our assumptions on the world. It looks like neglect because it was neglect. In our very first negotiation, we forgot to mention Gibraltar. No-one knows what will happen to Gib, whether it will have a hard border with Spain, what tariffs or taxes may rise or whatever, but of course the club was going to stand by the club member. Probably very good for Scotland's chances of independently joining the EU without being vetoed. Meanwhile,tick-tock tick-tock goes the two year clock.

These people are idiots. Dangerous idiots. War? Gunboats in the water? Is that really all we have?
If I was Argentina, I'd be facing a huge temptation to wait til Blighty pours all its efforts into Mediterranean buffoonery, and nab the Falklands. Then we have Britain sending its warships all over the seas, haemorraghing money and probably lives too, weakening the nation in all other aspects of global trade and negotiation, even assuming the EU itself doesn't get involved, that Scotland stays within the UK and Northern Ireland decides to suffer alongside all this. For Fucks Sake.

I saw some nasty bastard's tweet depicting a nuclear strike on Spain, and I felt physically sick. Shame on anyone for giving these people ascendancy and confidence in their hideous racism. In Croydon, a gang set on a poor guy who told them he was an asylum seeker. He's fighting for his life. The good news is that 6 people have been arrested, that there is still decency and outrage. God alone knows what will happen if these fascist lunatics get the war they crave. I fear for my relatives working here. Of course war will not happen - I say 'Of course,' - But there are circumstances where Larians and I would have to discuss me going to be with Mum.

And all,all of this predicated on an internal party dispute, because the tories decided to barter with their hard right rather than keeping them in check, and now the tail wags the dog. Thomas Jefferson said "Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government ... An informed citizenry is at the heart of a dynamic democracy.'" But our citizenry have not been well informed. We have been lied to, humoured in ignorance, encouraged in scapegoating... and this is the shameful result.

Just to add to the madness

...I find myself having to admit that one of the daftest MPs in history, Louise Mensch, may actually have some ability. I will never forget her attempt to write off Cameron's pig episode as one of those things any student might get up to when drunk, forgetting that most of us have got pissed beyond the abyss without once putting their genitals into the mouth of any animal, dead or alive. Still, maybe that's what passes for normal in Toryshire.

However,it seems she's got her finger on the - noooo, don't try to make it worse - pulse of the Trump/ Russia unravelling. She refers back to a very interesting blog ( which certainly seems to contain examples of investigative journalism long since mythical in most mainstream press.

But considering the historical Mensch lack of judgement, how can such a thing be?

April Fools day started a while back and shows no likelihood of ending by sunset...

April Fools Day

There's no prank I can pull,no tall story I can tell, that compares to the real world right now. It's very hard not to laugh at the whole Spain veto thing which has been thrown at the Scottish claim for independence in the past and is suddenly applied to Gibraltar. Representatives from the very government which has chosen to ignore the citizens of El Penon in the pursuit of Brexit are suddenly aghast. Gibraltarians mustn't be used as pawns by Spain they say, having completely ignored the wishes of these very citizens as well as  threatening all too happily to use the rights of EU citizens as pawns in the bargaining process. The breathless buffoonery is worthy of today's date and I'm still not sure it isn't a joke.

But the birds have been singing gloriously since before dawn, and that's a pretty reality. Still working to small success, and finding myself better at celebrations over the past week; I love Spring.

Back less than a day...

Wanting to be gone again. Forward lurches Brexit, and forward too, lurches the disintegration of the Union. I would not be at all surprised if Scotland goes for it this time. I keep hoping that May has a cunning plan, but I don't believe it.

My only cunning plan would be to get the hell out of Dodge, because for once I agree with Richard Dawkins(this itself being proof that the apocalypse is on its way) regarding the 'Nasty Little Backwater' England is becoming. Like many I am being dragged on this 'momentous journey,' but let none be humoured into thinking I support it. I was promised Shangri-La by the Leave campaign and by the clowns May has chosen to be our representatives,so clearly she validates their claims. Let's see them deliver it, and maybe then my humour will change.

Oh, who am I kidding? I just want out of here.