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Strategist: We could invoke the White Witch, enemy of all life, bringer of winter, slavery and starvation, offer her the blood sacrifice of a human being...

Prince Caspian: Vot eees dot?

Strategist: Or we could use the bleedin' air force.

Prince Caspian: I'll take vun of dose pliss.

High King Peter: Aye, indeed we shall! The griffins will fly us over the turrets and drop us in by cover of darkness

PC: Vot? But surely...

HKP: What? Why are you being so timorous now?

PC: Vell, all I am saying ees, vould it not be bedder if der beeg berds culd drop beeg rocks on der turrets, end keep doing dat until de castle eees...how you say...a pile of boulders no beeger den your seester's chest?

HKP: Eyes off my sister's chest you dago dog, she wants nothing to do with you!

PC: Heh heh heh.

HKP: And no, your idea is pants. Griffins dropping rocks? We would need someone to smash up lots of stone for ammo, someone with giant strength.

PC: Hurlbatter Hugeperson eees a giant...

HKP: And how do we defend the undersides of the griffins from trebuchet attacks? We would need incredible magical armour makers...

Passing Dwarf: Anybody need shoes cobbling? Me forge is empty and I'm a bit bored.

The Battle for Narnia continues...

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
romney
Jan. 18th, 2010 11:48 am (UTC)
I for one vote against the tide of Narnia purists and request, nay demand, more Anna Popplewell.
smokingboot
Jan. 18th, 2010 11:52 am (UTC)
Is there a problem among purists with Popplewell?
romney
Jan. 18th, 2010 12:03 pm (UTC)
No there is a problem in that Susan never again appeared in a Narnia book.

(Ok, briefly as Queen in The Horse and His Boy)

Edited at 2010-01-18 12:05 pm (UTC)
smokingboot
Jan. 18th, 2010 12:10 pm (UTC)
You have brought pouting into Narnia, Susan, pack it in at once!' Said Aslan. Then he looked at her elder brother beating the young telmarine to a pulp, their bodies glistening with exertion after wrestling with the fauns. The great lion shook his mane.

'It's not going to work,' he said. 'Let's call it a day and send you home for good.'
romney
Jan. 18th, 2010 12:17 pm (UTC)
Thank-you vey much for cheering me up immensely with the image of that Pout.

However The glistenings, they do nothing.

Narnia Slash fiction... ...is I guess going to be out there.
smokingboot
Jan. 18th, 2010 12:45 pm (UTC)
While I laugh at the lilywhite world of Narnia page and screen, I do love it. If there's any real narnia slash out there, I don't want to know.
bytepilot
Jan. 18th, 2010 01:27 pm (UTC)
You had to say it didn't you.

You had to actually say the words on the internet itself.
Now rule 34 has you firmly in its grip.

You have no chance to survive.
Make your time.
smokingboot
Jan. 18th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
I am not here. I was never here. I'm by myself in a beautiful land far beyond the Wardrobe.

bytepilot
Jan. 18th, 2010 02:38 pm (UTC)
By yourself ?
Terrible state of affairs. Lovely lady such as you should be reclining on a chaise lounge sipping sweet nectar whilst saturine noblemen exchange barbed comments in an attempt to catch your eye for even a moment.

Either that or Dancing round the campfire with your hair and skirts flying. Feet not quite touching the ground as the fiddle player tries to keep up...
smokingboot
Jan. 19th, 2010 06:40 pm (UTC)
Come join me! just remember not to close the door behind you - twould be very foolish, as we all know, to lock yourself into a wardrobe!
bytepilot
Jan. 20th, 2010 11:18 am (UTC)
Capital idea M'Lady.

Though I might say that under certain circumstances, being trapped in a wardrobe with yourself would be a delicious experience.
Provided of course that rescume arrived reasonably soon. Not too soon mind, but reasonably soon.
romney
Jan. 18th, 2010 03:01 pm (UTC)
So who would be the winner in a Susan vs Hermione catfight?

In a) School dorm b) Surf of tropical beach c) Jello
romney
Jan. 18th, 2010 03:09 pm (UTC)
'boot - For the good of all, I'm taking further musings off to my own jornal now, albeit under private and furtive entries.

smokingboot
Jan. 18th, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
See, I'm just all about the war. But you had to take it further...
blackcurrants
Jan. 18th, 2010 01:30 pm (UTC)
I can't remember why or how I ended up seeing that, but I do remember feeling deeply upset at how damn *pretty* Caspian was. SO pretty! But So Young! But So Pretty!
Am old perv now.

Ditto the Popplewell Problem, also.
smokingboot
Jan. 18th, 2010 01:38 pm (UTC)
I was surprised, because he was older than Caspian strikes me in the stories...I can forgive his prettiness because it contrasts so starkly with that of the Pevensies, and it makes more sense of Humans in Narnia - Aslan clearly prefers to import them, be they English or Telmarines. I can even forgive his bad Iniego Montoya impersonation 'Joo are a mows!' but I don't think I can bear to see him as Dorian Gray. Pretty he is, sexy he's not.
lucyas
Jan. 21st, 2010 01:57 pm (UTC)
That's brilliant!
smokingboot
Jan. 25th, 2010 12:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you:-) I could have gone on for hours!
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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