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The Counselor

The Counselor's about a West Texas lawyer who gets mixed up in a drugs deal.It's one of those films which should be a classic and isn't. However, it is memorable for depicting Cameron Diaz having sex with a Ferrari.


Here's how her partner Reiner [played by Javier Bardem] V.O's it:

"...So she goes around and climbs up on the hood of the Ferrari. And holds her dress up around her waist and spreads herself across the windshield in front of me. With no panties on. And she’s got this Brazilian wax job. Don’t, don’t even think I’m making this up – you can’t make this up. She was a dancer, so she does this full split, and then she starts running herself up and down on the glass, and she leans down, to see if I’m watching right now, as if I’m sitting there reading my email. And kisses me upside down and then she tells me this: I’m gonna come. I thought, well I’m losing my fucking mind, that’s what’s happening here. Really it was like one of those, one of those catfish things, you know, one of those bottom feeders you see going up the way of the aquarium sucking its way up the glass (makes popping sound with his mouth) Really it was ... hallucinatory. You see a thing like that, it changes you."

I'm sure it does. For a start you'd never stop to wash windscreens in El Paso. Hell, the cars would stay dusty til Texas was far behind.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
squeezypaws
Apr. 21st, 2014 04:13 pm (UTC)
Yik!

And ha!
smokingboot
Apr. 22nd, 2014 12:16 am (UTC)
Indeed!
november_girl
Apr. 21st, 2014 09:54 pm (UTC)
*chortle*
smokingboot
Apr. 22nd, 2014 12:17 am (UTC)
It is filmed quite tastefully for a depiction of woman as windscreen wiper...:-D
caffeine_fairy
Apr. 22nd, 2014 10:39 pm (UTC)
It's been all day and I still cannot get my head around this image.

Which way...up was she? I just can't see how you'd get any traction head upwards.
smokingboot
Apr. 23rd, 2014 08:17 am (UTC)
I can't work it out either. She was head upwards. The shot was mainly from behind and above her. My assumption was that a combination of ferrari windscreen angle and sleight of hand kept her in place, that or extremely sweaty thighs. Personally, I think the film would have been greatly improved, if she had settled herself in situ, smiled that wicked smile, did the full split, then tumbled off the car like hands off a clock dial.
caffeine_fairy
Apr. 23rd, 2014 11:42 am (UTC)
But wouldn't the rear view mirror obscure his, um, view?

I've given this entirely too much thought.
smokingboot
Apr. 24th, 2014 08:27 am (UTC)
I know what you mean; all I can really recall is Xavier Bardem's face looking utterly incredulous,possibly at his lines...
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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