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There are a lot of things on my mind

...as is ever the way, it's impossible to talk about them. So here I am, thinking about next week, and going to Spain. I have a slight dread of this.

I must talk to the family about the wedding. Now, mine is a trad Spanish family in many ways; it is not unheard of for people to drop by, and of a weekend this can become quite a big deal; 21 at dinner is by no means unlikely. How she copes with it I do not know. Anyway, 2016 is a year of one of the grandchildren's first communion, and oh my, this is a very big deal in Southern Spain - it can cost as much as a wedding. Plus my cousin and his girlfriend are also getting married at some point over the next two years, so on the whole, many members of the Spanish family are going to be strapped for cash and are very unlikely to be able to attend my wedding in England.I am not at all mortified... if anything it's a necessary curb to the Termagent's old Spanish tradition of inviting every relation known - and quite a few unknown - to family events. It just get out of control. One of my cousins, a seriously taciturn man, had 400 guests at his wedding. It was insane.

The reality is that there are huge numbers of people I should invite, but it is much more likely that none can come, and those who can afford to come may not be that close to me - they might take in the wedding as part of an English holiday for example. My groom is stipulating that we can't invite anyone he has never met, a reasonable request. Ironically, the person I most want to be there is very unlikely to turn up.

I am worried about meeting Mum next week. It is so cold here...if it is cold in Spain, I am afraid she won't close her windows; I am pretty certain she won't use heating. The last time family visited, they said they knew she was in there, but she wouldn't answer the door, but the time before that she seemed very healthy so they think she's OK.

Anyway, I don't think she will come. I am hoping that the possibility of dressing me up - always one of her favourite pastimes - will stimulate her. If she says 'Yes,' I can go pick her up before the wedding and we can take the train up from Spain through France to England.
But even if she agrees, she could easily change her mind at the last minute. If she doesn't have a passport now, she'll not renew it. I am worried about her, worried about offending the family, and all I can think is that while I am delighted at where we have chosen and hope to have beloved friends present, life would have been much easier if we just ran away to Yosemite and said our vows on a mountainside.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 9th, 2015 11:26 pm (UTC)
I can offer no advice, but want you to know that I've heard.
Feb. 10th, 2015 09:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you for listening, Anita x
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )



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