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Everything forgotten

Because I've been so ill.

And because I've been so ill and larians has also been ill, and because everything gets layered on top of everything else and I'm too spaced out to notice, the 26th is looming up like a triple doom. First we are meant to be seeing much loved friends in Camden, due to having to re-jig our next two weekends. Oh but I forgot that the weekend of the 26th, a dear chum is getting married in a wood and we were invited yonks ago. But at least I am not alone in this memory loss, as Elvis Diary forgot the wedding too, and has been arranging for a few of us to go throw Mark's ashes in the Thames that very same weekend. Name of God what's wrong with us?

I could not sleep tonight remembering us all staggering out of the Devereux trying to find the river. There's an elephant (not a real one) lit up in some hotel around there, which I keep telling myself I'll photograph and never do. And there are various stone steps up down and around the Temple, hidden ways from one alley-like street to another, though I'm sure there are shrubberies involved as well. It's not easy to lose the Thames but nothing was beyond us at midnight. The idea may be to find a way down to the water from near the Tower and dispose of his ashes there, making sure the tide doesn't return them to us, or the wind doesn't blow them back in our faces. A part of me feels that if we stay late, we'll see a small crowd of London ghosts giggling as they totter towards nearly shut tube stations, or squinting hopelessly at passing night buses, or getting Greenfriars Bridge mixed up with Blackfriars Bridge, and meandering between the two until daybreak, then collapsing into the nearest black cab.

Foxes barking outside, and everything is very still. I must try to sleep.

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