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Saint Cucufato

On the night we heard about Dad, we also learned something about a certain Saint from my Spanish cousins, who themselves learned it from a Madrid based chum.

Now, usually, in Catholic folklore, if you lose something, you ask St Anthony of Padua to help you find it. But there is another saint of lost things; Saint Cucufato/Cucufado.
There is a specific way you ask this saint for help. You must find a hankerchief and tie a knot in it. Then you say: "San Cucufato, San Cucufato los cojones te ato y hasta que no encuentres mi (objeto perdido) no te los desato".
Which translates as: "Saint Cucuphas, Saint Cucuphas your testicles I tie, and until you find my (lost belonging) I will not untie them".

We tried this on my misplaced glasses to good effect, and my brother tried it in finding his lost card, with results discussed above. But it seems really unfair that the other saint of lost objects is one of the most revered beings in the Catholic faith, with a worldwide following and a huge basilica, and relics and miracles etc... while poor old Cucufado just gets endlessly threatened and has his scrotum squeezed via sympathetic* magic over and over again down through the centuries just to compel a favour. How come he stays so good humoured? He was martyred in his real life, though it seems that the Romans were less harsh towards him than future generations of Christians, and even his holy day was moved so as not to clash with that of Santiago, the patron saint of Spain. It really does seem that poor old Cucufado drew the short straw.

One explanation might lie in his name, which Wiki claims may translate from the Phoenician for 'He who jokes/likes to joke.' So maybe he's just a very genial guy. When the lost object is found, you have to untie the knot in the hanky, which makes sense. Last thing you want is this guy hovering around the astral, blue in the face until you reach him.

Don't suppose the occasional 'Thanks' would go amiss either.

*Not that sympathetic, obviously.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 13th, 2015 12:33 pm (UTC)
Heh! Brilliant!
Oct. 13th, 2015 12:51 pm (UTC)
I wonder who the first was to try it?
Oct. 13th, 2015 01:03 pm (UTC)
Maybe he was just really into it irl! Are Saints allowed a kink?
Oct. 13th, 2015 01:39 pm (UTC)
Flagellants and all that...
Saints often seem to have taken drastic measures to curb their sexuality, deviant or otherwise. There's a story of Saint Benedict getting somewhat excited. Fortunately, he received divine help:

"But, suddenly assisted with God’s grace, he came to himself; and seeing many thick briers and nettle bushes to grow hard by, off he cast his apparel, and threw himself into the midst of them, and there wallowed so long that, when he rose up, all his flesh was pitifully torn: and so by the wounds of his body, he cured the wounds of his soul, in that he turned pleasure into pain, and by the outward burning of extreme smart, quenched that fire which, being nourished before with the fuel of carnal cogitations, did inwardly burn in his soul: and by this means he overcame the sin...'

Edited at 2015-10-13 01:39 pm (UTC)
Oct. 13th, 2015 05:52 pm (UTC)
Re: Flagellants and all that...
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )



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