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'A mote it is to trouble the mind's eye.'

I saw Dad for a split second last night.

He appeared in the most cliched way, out of the mist. He was standing on a wooden quay next to a little moored boat and he looked at me, his expression serious. The trouble with these things is that once the picture is there, the mind starts creating a story/conversation, possible extrapolations, the kind of thing he might say. So I put that to one side.

But this is the second time I have seen him in my minds eye, as opposed to a memory.

Next time I shall be more Hamlet-like, though cheerful having no Elsinore to baffle me. But like Hamlet, if he speaks, how do I know it's not just me talking?


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 30th, 2017 07:25 pm (UTC)
I am frustrated by mostly not remembering my dreams, nor being able to control them (although I have not seriously tried the various techniques for training Lucid Dreaming)

I do get occasional glimpses of my Mum, and we exchange a few words. A comfort I think. Unless she is telling me off for something I need to be told off for - in which case it's a Great Comfort and I wake quite satisfied with life.

Dream on!
Jan. 31st, 2017 09:08 am (UTC)
It is a Great Comfort :-) Long may such dreams continue!
Jan. 30th, 2017 08:37 pm (UTC)
You won't know, but does it matter?
Jan. 31st, 2017 09:07 am (UTC)
A difficult question!
When I think of all the shapes in my head,and the dialogues that maybe are just deeply re-imagined monologues, it feels a bit bogus if they are are easily identified repetitions of my own voice. If Dad said, 'Go visit your mother,' and I actually thought it was Dad, chances are I might panic - especially with that expression on his face - and go right away. But the truth is, I always feel I should be visiting my mother. There is inevitably anxiety about her health, and frustration that I can't change her way of life.I feel I should be living closer to her. Another iteration of that worry,cloaked as a telling from Dad, would be of limited usefulness, though if it turned up I would listen. But there has to be a difference between what arises and what I consciously impose, I think.

God,I read that back and find it makes no sense, even to myself!

Edited at 2017-01-31 09:08 am (UTC)
Feb. 1st, 2017 09:04 pm (UTC)
Re: A difficult question!
It does make sense I think. I read it as" "I really want to know what the difference is, even though I can't figure it out. What I might experience as a communication from my dad would be different from what I might experience as my own feelings talking to me in his voice, where the former is somehow more valuable than the latter."
Feb. 2nd, 2017 02:19 pm (UTC)
Re: A difficult question!
Yes,something like that. It isn't even clear in my own mind...But I think you are closer to understanding it than I do.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )



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